When I was young, I was always drawn to my phone as a way to relax.

But during that phase of my life, I had a very difficult time focusing on pretty much anything important or hard to do.

During that phase, it seems almost impossible to break out of the social media hell.

I keep looking at my phone, scrolling without even thinking.

Every notification makes me check it, even if it’s nothing important. My eyes jump from one app to another, never staying in one place. I know I should put it down, but I just can’t stop.

Around me, people are talking and moving, but I’m stuck staring at my screen.

Most of the time, I didn’t understand what I was doing (because either I was too young or it was overcomplicated to my level of mind), but since it felt relaxing (but it wasn’t, actually), I kept scrolling anyway and wasted my time.

The thing is, I never thought that it was a serious problem.

I thought social media was just a relaxing tool rather than a problem.

I didn’t think it could actually take over my attention or steal my focus. I used to think scrolling was a small break in my day, but it slowly became a way to escape rather than rest.

I felt like I could control it because I only used it when I wanted, but it started shaping my habits without me noticing.

Now, looking back, I see how much time and mental energy I gave away, thinking it was just a simple way to relax.

But now, over 10 years later, I finally understand why I was scrolling even when it felt bad.

And I'm pretty sure that most people can relate to this problem.

The Mind Defence Mechanism

Most people think phone addiction is about dopamine.

But the truth is, it is much deeper than that. It’s an existential problem, a psychological pattern, and a reflection of how we relate to ourselves.

So why do addictions exist?

Why do we reach for food, alcohol, porn, work, or social media?

The answer is surprisingly simple: we fear emptiness.

Fear of emptiness is the fear you feel when you are alone with nothing to do, nothing to distract you, nothing to stimulate you. If you sit in a room by yourself for an extended period, this fear will inevitably surface.

Phone use becomes a distraction or an escape from this emptiness.

The inability to sit quietly without checking notifications is a hallmark of phone addiction.

Addictions are nothing more than your mind's distractions, ways to escape that existential void.

Whether it’s overeating, drinking, scrolling social media, or fantasizing, all addictions are attempts to fill a hole.

When I faced this fear with my own phone addiction, I realized that resisting the craving wasn’t about denying myself.

It was about learning to sit with the discomfort, to feel the emptiness, and to survive it.

That moment was decisive for me. After that, ending scrolling became much easier because I had faced the core of the problem, not just its surface manifestations.

Most people never face this emptiness directly.

From the time we are children, we are conditioned to avoid boredom, discomfort, and stillness.

We distract ourselves with toys, games, television, books, and social interaction.

This avoidance continues into adulthood with more sophisticated forms of stimulation:

• Work

• Social media

• Shopping

• Exercise

• Relationships

I am not saying that you should’t train, work, or go shopping.

No, because that’s actually life.

But, I am saying that if you’re using these activities as an escape so you never sit down alone with yourself, don’t be surprised when you want to stop working because you’re tired, but you can’t.

The thing is, you think you’re doing something good, but you’re actually escaping silence.

This leads to temporary feelings of fullness mixed with guilt and an underlying sensation of emptiness that can never be filled by material pursuits. The emptiness is inherent to existence and cannot be escaped by consumption or distraction.

The problem is that this constant distraction prevents us from developing emotional maturity and internal grounding.

If you cannot sit alone in a room without distraction, your life is controlled by external factors.

Your happiness is dependent on external stimuli. This is the essence of addiction: external dependence rather than internal fulfillment.

Think about the last time you were truly alone and did nothing.

Could you sit for an hour without boredom or craving?

Exactly.

Phone addiction is fundamentally a sign of emotional immaturity and a way to avoid emotional work.

The difficult task of sitting with yourself and facing your thoughts.

People addicted to their phones seek quick distractions instead of doing this inner work, but avoiding it only makes the addiction worse.

But true recovery from phone addiction requires embracing the discomfort of being offline, sitting quietly, and doing nothing, which many find extremely uncomfortable.

That’s why I recommend 30-60 minutes of silence every morning. That’s why I teach how to end phone addiction (to control your own time) in The 1 Hour Meditator (Dm 7).

The Lifestyle of Conscious Living

There is one lifestyle that all high-value individuals have.

They choose how they spend their time on a daily basis.

They choose what they focus on every single day.

They choose who they give attention to and who they don’t.

They choose what fills their mind and what they ignore.

This lifestyle demands deliberate choices, discipline, and awareness.

Attention is the most valuable currency.

Distraction is the decline into mental chaos.

Attention is strengthened by choosing what matters and ignoring what doesn’t. That’s the Freedom Equation.

There is one way to reclaim your life that never goes out of style: mastering your attention, choosing what you allow into your mind, and designing your days intentionally.

No matter how many apps exist, no matter how addictive technology becomes, no matter the pull of boredom because that boredom is just a signal that your attention is misaligned, you can reclaim your focus, and build a life that feels rich, free, and intentional.

Nobody will give you control of your attention, you must take it.

Practice choosing what you focus on and what you ignore.

Build a mind that creates instead of consumes.

Turn your attention into energy for growth, learning, and meaningful action.

Don’t rely on constant stimulation for your happiness.

Transcend passive scrolling, reclaim your time, and design a life you choose.

And lastly, enjoy the rest of your day fully.

I hope this is helpful.

— Noah.